Wednesday, September 8, 2010


it will come naturally, that's what people always say. I disagree. First week after i gave birth, i had difficulties feeding qaliph. Not that i doesnt want to, i've been wanting to breastfeed my baby even before he was born, but when i feel like i fail to feed him enough, i almost give up. the nipples sore, his' cries, the pain from the c-section, all accumulated to drive me nuts.

it was after 3 weeks when i started to get the hang of it.. it then started to be coming naturally. now, after more than 4 months, Alhamdulillah i still manage to give feed him exclusively with my own milk. I realized how it benefits him well. He seems to be stronger, well shaped, no prob of colic, calm, n healthy.

I have to say, 3 person made breastfeeding working well for me. To the nurse in Permai Polyclinic Kota Kinabalu, Merlin for she is the one who taught me the correct way of breastfeeding. 2nd person in Kak Lia, someone that I know from BTN, for she gave me a good example, giving me tips and proves that exclusive breast feeding is possible for working mothers. Finally, to my husband Tajul Ariffin Adam, for all his' support.. from rubbing my back when i'm in pain, lifting qaliph to my lap when i couldnt move, to expressing my milk..(might sound dirty, but i really enjoy this intimate moment, nothing to do with lust, just him helping me expessing milk for our baby..) he is truly my great supporter..

husbands out there.. u might not have the milk to feed your baby..but supporting ur wife might help her to ease the pain, making it less stressful she'll produce more milk..

to my wonderful baby Ayden Qaliph, i dont want him to appreciate only me for breastfeeding him, for it was his father who help me through this process..thank you sayang..thank you daddy..

~mommy n qaliph

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Preggy Memories Part II

Until now, I do misses the time when I feel his lil foot kicking in my belly, the way he swim and move in my womb.. All I can say is that to anxious expecting mothers, enjoy your 40 weeks with the baby in u.. da safest place for ur baby is in ur womb.. many that i have encountered before expecting mothers mengeluh saying " bila la baby aku nak kluar" but seriously, after delivered Qaliph, just a day after dat i told my hubby how I miss the feeling of that tiny foot kicking or even his' hick-ups in my womb..

week 32, i had UTI ( urinary tract infection ) which cause a preterm contraction. dah la masa tu baru je pindah sabah, kereta pun tak sampai lagi.. mengharapkan belas ihsan kawan2.. Lola, Dr Yasmin, Melissa la jadi mangsa kena hantar gi hospital la, buat check up la, pergi exercise class la, false labor pain la, plus cari food sebab teringin la.. late night delivery dr Michelle pun ada.. huhu.. btw.. week 34 tu dah ada contraction.. sakit nyer jangan cakap la.. dat morning we went to Sabah Medical Centre.. then he said dat my baby's elbow dlm position yang tak boleh untuk lahir normal. infact he suggested untuk terus caeserean the next day tu.. me n my hubby was skeptical.. so we went for a second opinion from Hospital Pakar Likas. Da doctor kat situ advice not to deliver the baby yet. So they gave me medicine to suppress the contraction so the baby will grow until 40 weeks, baru deliver secara normal. n pasal position baby tu, selamba je Dr tu urut and the baby is back to the position. I am impressed.. biasanya hospital kerajaan ni banyak je complain.. tapi I have to tell, Hospital Likas la hospital kerajaan yang paling bagus ( as for me n my experience) not just in sabah, but i think in msia.. the only government hospital in msia with the title of Hospital Pakar Bersalin n kanak2.. i think due to the fact that the building was once private ( SMC ) then ditukarkan jadi government, the facilities are rather good.

then in week 38 i started to have pain.. sekali lagi lola menjadi mangsa kena hantar pagi2 ke hospital likas.. apparently opening dia cuma tip of finger.. so balik lagi.. week 39, monday.. i went for a check up.. da head is already in position to deliver, placenta is high.. very good shape for normal delivery.. alhamdulillah.. dat's wut i've been hoping to for the passed 9 months..then week 39, friday ( few days after dat ) i feel super lethargic.. mmg tak larat nak gi office that morning.. takde plak sakit apa2.. i went to Permai KF just to get MC la at first.. then the doctor suggested for a last scan b4 delivery sebab dah nak masuk 40 weeks. scan je terus Dr terkejut.. my baby berpusing not only 180 degrees ke atas but also 180 degrees facing the front.. so nak tak nak dia terus refer hospital likas..

so we went on that friday, 23rd April 2010 ke hospital likas.. n the doctor confirmed that the baby is in breech position. 2 option, sama ada doctor urut untuk pusing balik or to go for a c-section. for the doctor untuk urut will have a 50% chance to b back to normal position, n 50 % untuk emergency c-section, plus sakit la kena urut tu.. lagipun klu normal pun according to the doctor ada 70-80% possibility lahir kena guna instrument ( forcep, vacuum ).. kalau plan for c-section at least diorg bleh prepare darah in case of bleeding teruk, i can get a nice bikini line :P, i got to be explain thoroughly on the procedure, meet up with my doctors, tapi of course ada risks juga la such as excessive bleeding,n many other complications la.. so to cut short me n my hubby decided for a plan c-section.. n da date yang dr bagi is around 10.30-11.00 monday morning ( 26.4 ).. so i met my doctors.. ( one of em is sumone from ipoh as well ) n i was explained on the procedures and all.. it was by far the scariest moment in my life.. never i felt takut yang sampai sejuk tangan.. be cont

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Preggy Memories Part I

I dedicate this post for my beautiful Ayden Qaliph.. maybe one day he'll read this in the future and enjoy knowing the process of me having him in me, as much as i enjoy having him in me..maybe that one day I wont be around to tell him this....

When I first found out that I was pregnant, it was already 7 weeks. I had butterflies in my tummy.. i smiled all day long.. all bcuz i know i'm carrying such a beautiful God's creation in my belly.. since then.. i talked to da baby ( back then i ddnt know it's a He :P )

Thank goodness i dun have any huge problem with my pregnancy.. no morning sickness at all ( alhamdulillah.. ) but i do feel extremely, super duper malas to take care of myself! to da extend nak cuci muka pun malas! it's not sumthing dat i purposely do.. it was then my mum suspected dat i will have a baby boy.. betul ke orang tua2 kata kalau mengandung anak lelaki, pakai make up pun tak nak.. mungkin betul, mungkin kebetulan.. n yes, after 3 months ( yes, dat early..) my gynae detect it's a boy.. he is proudly showing his ding dong in the 4D scan as early as 3 months.. it's like he's saying "..look daddy.. i have one too!" :P

talking about this pregnancy, i traveled a lot during this pregnancy.. it first started in Hirosaki, Japan, then traveled all da way down to Tokyo and Kyoto.. then after 4 months, i went for a conference in Salzburg Austria. Sempat la jalan2 bawa baby dalam perut feeding pigeons in Vienna, Austria, jalan2 Juelich, Dusseldorf, Koln di Germany ( thanx to abg Oskar and family ), enjoying the beautiful scenery of Amsterdam, Netherland, lunatic roads in Antwerp, Belgium, rambang mata buying chocs at Brussels, Belgium, romantic trip to Paris, France, all da way to Sheffield, UK, visiting the most important place for Golfers at St Andrews, perfect dinner at Amir's place in Dundee, taking a ride on Ferris Wheel in Glasgow, Scotland, a week spent in Stirling, Scotland where we celebrated Hari Raya Korban and finally unforgettable London. hehe.. Qaliph2.. dalam perut lagi merata2 dah berjalan.. although 12 hrs of flight definitely menyakitkan pinggang ( and plus there was one time we hafta run bcuz of the short transit ), but it sure worth it.. i love every single second carrying him around, explaining to him eventho he might not understand anything but swimming around in my belly..

One thing about baby Qaliph, he stretch his' body a lot.. no wonder la my belly selalu keras2.. tiba2 terbonjol je keluar bontot dia.. kepala dia, kaki dia, siku dia.. n he's super duper active kicking.. which is good.. i think he's reacting on my voice.. everytime i talked to him.. i sang him a lullaby.. so.. mothers out there( fathers too ).. byk2 kan communicating with ur baby.. tho he might not understand, but ur voice will soothe the baby.. be cont in part II

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

New Me :)

Alhamdulillah.. i gave birth to Ayden Qaliph Tajul Ariffin on 26th of April 2010..

So.. here I am.. being a mother.. it sure change me a lot.. way of life, way of thinking, my priorities have to be set up all over again.. but it sure worth it.. no more clutch or small handbags for me.. but either way, i'm still happy with my new Guess oversize handbag so i manage to squeeze in Qaliph's stuffs ( diapers, extra shirt just-in-case, wet tissue, blanket.. n the list goes on and on, i told ya it's an oversize handbag :P ) my point is people can still look gorgeous rather than sloppy just bcuz u're a mother..speaking of which.. i just wanna share on my changes after giving birth to Ayden Qaliph.. ( oh.. i wanna share on my preggy moments.. and giving birth too.. hmm.. maybe in the next post :P)

first day.. after gone thru about 2 and a half hours of c-section, i can barely get up ( am not supposed to pun :P ).. my hair was messy, my face was oily, i feel bloated, my face looks bloated.. i was in pain..all in all i look horrible..

second day.. i managed to get up and look myself in the mirror and OMG!! i cant even stand looking at myself! thanx to hubby, he manage to clean me up with wet towel ( still cant take bath ), brush my teeth, etc.. at least ok la sikit esp people starting to visit..

when i got back.. i always look myself in the mirror, wearing oversize shirt with kain batik ( which i rarely put on before ) no make up, bau minyak jer ( minyak untuk confinement )it really makes me feel down.. my confidence level mmg jatuh sgt2.. looking at my saggy tummy masa tu.. then my sister in law told me that rahim tak akan terus kecut immediately.. it'll take time.. nights of crying on my hubby's shoulder on how i wanna look like i used to.. n i determine to get the look back..

just after confinement, first thing i bought was 2 pair of jeans.. yes.. it's huge.. mmg depressing to find a pair of jeans that fit me.. but i still insists of buying.. cuz i dun wanna stay miserable wondering will i fit a jeans again.. 2 weeks after that i can't even wear that jeans anymore :P it's darn loose..

my whole point is.. mmg after gave birth, esp if u go thru c-section, akan ada tendency of depressed.. baby blues.. but for me, if it was not my hubby who stand by me, give me his shoulder to cry on, and tons of words of encouragement and his love for me that keeps me feeling alive.. and of course, looking at my precious Ayden Qaliph.. it is all worth it.. every single second, every single scar, every single stretch marks..

to my Hubby, Tajul Ariffin Adam, and baby Ayden Qaliph Tajul Ariffin, thank u very much and i love u both very much..

Monday, September 14, 2009

I'm goin to be a mommy soon!!

alhamdulillah.. it's already 7 weeks.. n insya Allah will due on 29th April 2010.. pray for me n my baby..

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Goshogawara, Japan...

Currently with my hubby in his prog, the International Woodfire Festival in Goshogawara.. Alhamdulillah.. my hubby managed to talk to Ryoji san, the owner of Kanayama Pottery on our situation, n he offered his own house to stay..

We went to Onsen Spa that day..where there's hot spa by the sea side ( of course me n hubby tak join the others.. we hafta get TOTALLY naked to get in there ).. watched Wasao ( youtube it ).. and the previous trip we went to Hirosaki castle at Hirosaki koen ( park ).. the next one will be climbing up a mountain ( dat's wut Ryoji san told us ) or else if the weather is not so good we wud just go to archeological park ( or sumthing ).. so.. am looking fwd for dat too..

after the prog ( i honestly can't wait ) hopefully me n hubby will be going to Hokkaido.. then moving to the southern part of japan.. Tokyo Disneyland, Tokyo, Kyoto, Nagoya.. etc..

i miss Malaysia, really.. i can't blv i actually say this.. but yeah.. esp the food.. ( well i have my hubby here :P) maybe if i am in australia or UK, US.. or any other parts of the world, i am pretty much sure I wudnt miss Msia so much.. food here sucks ( i dun like sushi, never like sushi ) and not to mention it is DARN hard to communicate with people here!! i mean.. i did told em "nihon go wakaranai" ( i dun speak japanese ) but still there will be bla bla bla ( in japanese ) and when i say "nihon go wakarimasen" ( i dun understand japanese ) AGAIN.. they will bla bla bla in japanese!! aiyya.. this people...

anyway.. i'll be back to msia next month.. n i cant wait to go eat nasi goreng daging merah.. nasi goreng kampung.. ayam.. daging.. KFC.. McD.. Burger King.. New York New York.. Secret Recipe.. Starbucks..Dome.. Pak Li.. huhuhhu.. the list wud be endless..huhuhuhu *Sigh*

Saturday, July 18, 2009

it has been awhile..

it's been a while since i last post anything in here.. hmm.. wut shud i say.. life has been such a bliss ever since i got married.. sure i had few difficulties ( was being sick) but i thank God for giving me one of the greatest gift; love, and my husband..
i could never thank him enough for taking care of me, for being patient.. for loving me more n more each day, for pampering me with love like no one else have..

11th of july was my very first presentation in an international psychology conference. Alhamdulillah, i got great feedbacks..and superb audience.. yes.. they did question me a lot of things.. n alhamdulillah i managed to answer them succesfully.. n i thank my husband for being there to support me all the way.. n he was there with me even though i know he got bored with such a heavy topics in psychology conference (wut dya expect :P )

i did passed up my thesis ( finally!! ) n now i am in hirosaki japan n doing nothing but missing my husband..

for my deary hubby.. i love u very much n cant wait to see u this tuesday..